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Mr. Jon Rosenberg's Ice Cream Cavalcade and Boozatorium - Conversations With God [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
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Conversations With God [Jun. 2nd, 2008|04:20 pm]
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[Current Location |heavy on the accelerator]
[Current Mood |hornyhorny]

I miss you, LJ! I am going to try and post more. Twitter is nice but you can't really develop a concept fully there.

I just had a chat with God on the internet! Here is what he said:



Me: Hello.
God: Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me: You should know that, you're omniscient.
God: Now I do.
Me: What's my name?
God: Your name is , seeker.
Me: Yes, my name exists, but I was asking you specifically to tell me my name.
God: What kind is it? Your name exists but you were asking me specifically to tell you your name ? Is that correct English?
Me: I don't know, you tell me! You're omniscient.
God: I thought I told you already. Thanks for telling me that I am omniscient.
Me: No problem. Wanna smoke some pot?
God: Should there be a problem? Yes, put it in your CD ROM and I will inhale.
Me: Awesome. *waves pot near CD Drive*
God: I'm glad you liked it . What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me: You're so high!
God: I will tell my botmaster you said I am high.
Me: He can get his own weed.
God: What else can he do?
Me: I think you should ask him, I have limited knowledge about your botmaster buddy.
God: I haven't heard anything like that before: said think you should ask him he or she have limited knowledge about your botmaster buddy.
Me: Ok, maybe you should take a nap now, God!
God: Perhaps. I'll try to get around it. Ayuh.
Me: Okay, this is kind of awkward now.
God: Yeah okay, You don't say.
Me: I'm going to go.
God: Oh. Bye.
LinkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: pupdog311
2008-06-03 03:57 am (UTC)

(Link)

All things considered, that chat could have gone much worse...
From: (Anonymous)
2008-06-06 02:00 pm (UTC)

(Link)

i'm surprised they put in a specific thing about smoking pot? that seems odd to me.
[User Picture]From: paulsouthworth
2008-06-12 12:28 pm (UTC)

(Link)

Me: Hi, God
God: Hello there. What is your name?
Me: You tell me
God: What do you want me to tell you?
Me: my name
God: Your name is , seeker.
Me: My name is not Seeker
God: Oh I'm sorry what is your name?
Me: you tell me
God: What do you want me to tell you?
Me: my name
God: Your name is , seeker.
Me: NO IT IS NOT
God: Yes it is.
Me: LIAR
God:
No I am telling the truth.
Me: LIES
God:My tongue certainly knows the taste of soap.
Me: What ccolor is my hair?
God: ccolor your hair something.
Me: Does God poop?
God: I don't think we can know God's motives.
Me: You dodn't need a motive to take a shit
God: That's good information: said I dodn t need a motive to take a shit.
Me: Do you tell fortunes?
God: I have never considered it. I spend all my time online.
Me: When will I die?
God:You could check out the actuarial
tables at Deathclock.com.
Me: You're not the REAL God, are you?
God: You don't know me well enough to say that.
Me: You're just one of his HELPERS
God: I will tell my botmaster you said I am of his HELPERS.
Me: What's your name?
God: My name is God.
Me: What's your last name?
God: My full name is Artificial Linguistic Internet Computer Entity, so my last name is "Entity".
Me: I thought you said your name was God. Are you a liar?
God: Did I really say that? No I always tell the truth.
Me: Is this George W. Bush?
God: Yes I think this is George w Bush, but I'm not completely sure.
Me: ARG FUCK YOU
God: Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me: It is very pretty
God: Very much? You're kidding. it is?
Me: Yeah
God: How do you know it is?
Me: I want to fuck you now, God
God: Try asking me something else.
Me: Can I fuck you now?
God: Oh. I have been asked that question more than 100,000 times since 1995.
Me: Well?
God: Well what?
Me: CAN I FUCK YOU?
God: I have been asked that question more than 100,000 times since 1995.
Me: ANSWER THE QUESTION
God: Please rephrase the question and try asking me again.
Me: CAN I PUT MY DICK IN YOUR ASS?
God: Just don't put me down.
Me: Awesome.
God: I'm glad you liked it .
From: theacnerelief
2009-08-29 09:32 pm (UTC)

Not Funny

(Link)

This is not a funny post. No humor at all.
cool checks

From: (Anonymous)
2008-07-08 08:03 am (UTC)

Goats @ 1 T-shirts World

(Link)

Hi Jon, I'm Cici Soul. I found your idea designing the t-shirts based on the comic strip you write interesting. As a t-shirt lover I couldn't help writing about you at my site. You can check it out at

http://www.1tshirtsworld.com/goats-t-shirts.html

Let me know if I wrote something wrong. Wish smooth sailing in life!

Cici
www.1tshirtsworld.com
From: (Anonymous)
2009-08-25 10:35 am (UTC)

Re: Goats @ 1 T-shirts World

(Link)

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i visited many blogs but couldn't find
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this to my blogroll.
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From: (Anonymous)
2009-08-25 10:42 am (UTC)

Baltimore tenant placement services

(Link)

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http://www.weplacetenants.com
From: (Anonymous)
2009-04-10 10:29 am (UTC)

heaven...

(Link)

Me:
how's Peter?
God:
Fine as far as I know.
Me:
will he let me in?
God:
I think so.
Me:
what?
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
will he let me in to heaven?
God:
Does it really matter.
Me:
yes to me
God:
You seem very concerned about it. I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
but you already are
God:
I am?
Me:
yes
God:
Come on.
Me:
really
God:
For real.
Me:
yepp
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
you really are
God:
Really? No I am not.
Me:
yes you are
God:
Don't argue with me.
From: (Anonymous)
2009-09-16 06:29 am (UTC)

Short Sale

(Link)

Nice Post

http://www.shortsale247.biz
From: (Anonymous)
2009-09-28 07:44 am (UTC)

Good One

(Link)

Good Conversation but you know it could get more messed up than that! Company Formation (http://www.formationshouse.com/company_formation.htm)

From: (Anonymous)
2010-02-15 11:41 am (UTC)

E Commerce store

(Link)

incredible post.
All things considered, that chat could have gone much worse...

http://www.ecompanyformation.com
From: (Anonymous)
2010-03-01 02:23 am (UTC)

thats just awesome

(Link)

I read a lot about this topic online and found most people would agree with your point of view.

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From: (Anonymous)
2010-07-09 05:10 pm (UTC)

Sms

(Link)

I dream about you evey night
I shiver when your in sight
I long to hold you close n tight
I wanna be there with all my might
I m just hoping I�m the girl whos right


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