Mr. Jon Rosenberg's Ice Cream Cavalcade and Boozatorium

Thinking Of You

Wed, 09 Apr 2008 14:34:38 GMT

I have ignored you for too long, LJ! I apologize for my fickle nature but Twitter, she has a hold over me I cannot explain.

In honor of today's Overcompensating:

That's all for now. More soon, one hopes.

One More Unto The Breach

Mon, 18 Feb 2008 04:53:40 GMT

Incidentally, this is the same face she makes when she's brutally murdered someone.

MURDERBABY
this fall on ABC

Gratuitous Baby Pictures Post

Thu, 14 Feb 2008 21:36:50 GMT

Norah cut her first tooth today, and all I can think of is orthodontal bills.

Apologies for the gratuitous cuteness, I couldn't help myself.

Obamomentum

Wed, 13 Feb 2008 15:59:59 GMT

Man, Obama keeps winning and winning, I am actually beginning to get a little excited. At least I think I am, I don't really remember what hope feels like too clearly.

Is it possible that the American public may actually not fuck up an election for once?

Also, how much politics is it appropriate to put on one's webcomic homepage? I'm sure the answer varies from comic to comic but I'm never quite sure where to draw the line myself.

You've Probably Already Seen This

Fri, 08 Feb 2008 04:43:47 GMT

Why did no one tell me to watch Flight of the Conchords? None of you are real friends.

Sheldon, MoD

Tue, 29 Jan 2008 16:20:27 GMT

Whenever Dave draws an episode of Sheldon where the characters are swimming I like to imagine that it's not water they're standing in but an endless pool of blood. It provides the proper context for Dave's writing, I think.

There. That's better.

Cloverfield

Tue, 22 Jan 2008 15:46:23 GMT

Amy took me to see Cloverfield this weekend during our 5th Anniversary extravaganza, further cementing her status as Ultimate Wife. The movie was pretty good, I find myself thinking a lot about it, alternating between picking it apart for its minor flaws and wishing there was more monster in the monster movie.

It was sort of 9/11-meets-Dawson's-Creek, mostly disposable learning-disabled 25-somethings with impossible jobs and apartments, tussling with spider-dogs and wrestling with their feelings. The best part of the movie is Lizzy Caplan, who channels Zooey Deschanel for her portrayal of Marlena. It may be unoriginal but I always say the more Zooey there is out there the better.

I will give J.J. Abrams this: the first fifteen minutes had me flashing back pretty hard. Now that we know what New York looks like in flames in real life I suppose it is going to be much easier for filmmakers to simulate it realistically onscreen.

We need a sequel where we meet the monster's extended network of college friends, all of whom use Nokia^TM brand cell phones exclusively.

Reading is Fundamentalist

Fri, 18 Jan 2008 05:07:04 GMT

I'm really enjoying The Accidental Time Machine, Joe Haldeman's latest. It touches on some of the same themes as The Forever War but is very different in feel, almost as though Haldeman were channeling Vinge or Rucker.

I'm not finished yet, but about 3/4 of the way through and it's pretty perfect.

Advance CatoonTechniques

Mon, 14 Jan 2008 21:45:59 GMT

Behold the Antepenultimate Silent Panel. Very tricky to pull off, but deadly if used correctly.

Sorry I have been away for so long! My focus has been narrowed to laser-like proportions, life is cartooning and child rearing and food preparation, a perfectly balanced triangle that can accommodate no additional weight without bringing the whole thing down. A single blog post felt like an extravagant expenditure of precious seconds. No more! I say no more.

Ah, fuck. I forgot what I was going to say now.

I'm going back to writing angry fish jokes. Maybe it will come to me in a dream.

Birthday Epilogue

Wed, 28 Nov 2007 05:03:59 GMT

Today I drew comics, fed a baby and watchedfifteen minutes of brand-new Futurama. It was a pretty perfect birthday.

Thanks to all of you who send birthday wishes, you made me feel like a hundred bucks.

Xmas T-Shirts: Now More Purchaseable

Tue, 13 Nov 2007 18:32:21 GMT

Thansk for all your help picking out your favorite t-shirt designs, friends! I have made your top three choices available for purchase.

The Represent design is slightly tweaked for color and a few lines have been cleaned up, but otherwise everything is as it was. I am thinking all of these may only be single-run designs but I will be pleasantly surprised if there is enough demand to keep them around, of course.

Anyways, thanks again! You're the best internet friends an antisocial hermit like myself could hope for.

A Concise Summary of American Politics

Fri, 09 Nov 2007 17:46:41 GMT

This is one of those pictures that makes you wish you owned a time machine and a bottle of extra-strength RU486.

Xmas T-Shirts: I Snooze, You Choose

Fri, 09 Nov 2007 05:42:56 GMT

I am very, very late in getting new t-shirt designs done in time for christmas sales. So late, in fact, that I am delegating the responsibility of choosing which designs to offer to you.

Here are five potential designs, each culled from my ever-growing pile of design rejects (which is a sort of Island of Misfit Toys for t-shirt designs that are unusable, unloveable, unwearable). Since I am entirely unable to judge which t-shirts will sell properly, I figured I would give them each a reprieve. You get to say who stays out on parole and who gets sent back to the slammer.

Please rate each design on a scale of 1 to 10, each unit representing the degree of purchase cravings that you feel when you view it. Thank you!

View Poll: Xmas T-Shirts

tHE dECLINE OF wESTERN cIVILIZATION

Wed, 24 Oct 2007 20:19:55 GMT

I say we all pitch in and buy Bush a nice fiddle.

Tomorrow is going to be an MG day, when 3pm comes around and I have two lines of dialogue written I know it may be time to take a deep breath and go in a different direction. But there will be a one-day sale on all t-shirts, so hopefully that will help cheer up all the disappointed children (and help me pay some bills).

Creepy

Tue, 16 Oct 2007 19:04:39 GMT

As far as I can tell, the last revision made to my Wikipedia page was someone adding in blank spaces for the date and place of my upcoming death. Am I misreading this? Tell me I am misreading this.

I really hope the dude who made the edits was just bored and does not have any special knowledge.

Next Up: Fox News

Sun, 14 Oct 2007 00:02:01 GMT

There is something very satisfying in seeing the Republicans for Voldemort bumper sticker mentioned in the New York Times.

Next year I am going to try and come up with a bumper sticker that will help bring about the destruction of at least one of the five branches of government.

(Two branches are secret and not know to the general public.)

As Seen On A Lady

Thu, 11 Oct 2007 21:16:36 GMT

I am posting this more for completeness than anything else.

We still have a few of these left, if you are interested.

Worth watching.

Wed, 26 Sep 2007 18:11:31 GMT

This guy fucking kills me. Hilarious! Take that, hypocritical wankers.

I think if Goats survives the next year I am going to have to bring back God as a recurring character. I need a really good villain.

HOLY SHIT

Mon, 24 Sep 2007 04:00:04 GMT

I ate all the pez

ALL OF IT

edit: oh wait, there is one more YUM YUM

Squid Vs. Wienermobile Prints

Sat, 15 Sep 2007 22:57:02 GMT

I'm doing a limited run of 50 13"x19" Squid Vs. Wienermobile prints, archival inks and papers, signed and numbered, and I thought I'd let you good folks get first crack at them before I unleash them on the general public.

Shitheadism Explained

Sun, 09 Sep 2007 23:06:42 GMT

You may recall that I was pondering the true causes of shitheadism not too long ago. Well, as usual, Science steps up to the plate and hits a home run with a possible explanation.

As a former bio major this possibility, the chance that the origin of shitheadism could be biological in nature, had occurred to me at one point. I dismissed it, hopeful that there would be an easy fix. Like education. Or sex robots. or educational sex robots.

But to see it demonstrated in a lab like this, that's just depressing. There's no cure for shitheadism short of a eugenics war, or a miraculous increase in the availability and fecundity of slutty liberal chicks.

Maybe there is a substance that turns off the function of this gene? Could it be put in the water supply?

I think if everyone watched Yo Gabba Gabba once as a child we would all turn out okay, regardless of genetics.

Spaceship War

Wed, 29 Aug 2007 16:35:26 GMT

This is a great idea, which is not at all surprising seeing as Kris thought of it, he is truly excellent at having ideas and thoughts. He has them all the time!

Here's my entry into the Spaceship BattleDrome, I don't think I've ever named Neil and Bob's ship before but for the sake of argument let's say this is canonical:

webcomic: www.goats.com

shipname: Crust Runner

organization: Tavistian Armada

classname: Smuggler's Yacht

shiptype: Resistance Crusher

shiplength: 70

shipcrew: Neil, standard gray alien
Bob, demon-posessed gray alien
Toothgnip, psychic demon goat

personnelcapacity: 20

FTL: Kitten/Pop-Tart Singularity Drive

FTLspeed: Pretty fast

maxsublight: 1% lightspeed

primaryweapon: Bleuel Ray

primaryweaponoutput: 8.7 MW (0.1 MW more than the Fuseli)

defense: Ablative Alibi Plating, no fear of death whatsoever

defensepower: Unknown

miscellaneous: Customized with an Infinite Beefnut Generator capable of generating 42.7 Beefnuts per minute. (coming soon to a comic near you)

Krazy Straw Poll

Tue, 28 Aug 2007 16:13:49 GMT

Humor me, will you?

View Poll: For President:

Opus

Sat, 25 Aug 2007 17:26:10 GMT

So apparently a bunch of newspapers have refused to run Opus for the next couple of weeks since the strips touch on Islam. I bet Berkeley is pretty happy he finally Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Web. At least folks will have the option of judging for themselves.

I haven't followed it religiously (ha ha), but Opus has been pretty good since it turned back into Bloom County, it seems like all the old characters are finding their way back. The controversial strip in question stars perennial favorite Steve Dallas with his girlfriend.... Lola Granola?

Wait a sec. Didn't Lola and Opus used to be an item? Didn't they (almost?) get married? And Opus seems totally cool that she's with Steve now. When did this happen? Did I miss something? I probably missed something.

Stage 129 Diapers, Please

Sat, 25 Aug 2007 03:05:09 GMT

I nearly shat myself in joy when I noticed P's Gary shirt. I would murder an entire train full of carnival freaks to own one of those, that is the funniest thing I have ever seen and I am almost 34.